Attitude of Gratitude: day 23-30

Where I often spend Thanksgiving is pretty rustic with no internet. The smart phone I got a little over a year ago has changed that for me and I'm no longer quiet as 'disconnected'... but it's still lovely to have an excuse to not check email or post to my website. These things are possible, but slightly annoying on a phone, so I practice my connection in other, more solitary ways. I take my camera with me and record for myself. It also means I can later update you on what I saw and was grateful for:

  1. Waking up on a lazy morning with nowhere to be and nothing to do.


2. Feeling the sun and quiet while meditating without any of the pressure to 'get started with the rest of my day.'

3. A cozy fire in the fireplace and a relaxed study buddy.

4. Abundance in food and family with lots of love and laughter and nourishment and an awareness and gratitude for where this food comes from and everything that went into growing it and preparing it for me to eat.

5. Sun coming out after several days of rain, providing warmth and a different light in which to see things.

6. A walk in the woods and my grandma's stories of elves and gnomes and magic echoing through my head.

7. Messages left for us by nature... if we're listening in.

8. Familiar spaces and all the memories that go with them. A sense of history and connection without obligation or attachment.

9. Cozy shelter, surrounded by plenty of fresh air and wide-open spaces. Home and wild, all rolled into one - just the way I like it. And gratitude for the love of others that keeps it maintained and enjoyable.

10. Trees that teach us to root down, stand tall, grow upwards, bend with the wind, die to be reborn. There is something beautiful in how they stand and yet flow.

Coming out of this holiday and this month of gratitude, I know I have much to be thankful for everyday. I hope you had a wonderful celebration and as the focus now turns to gifts and giving, I hope you find it in you to give to those who challenge you, to love those you're not always sure you're able to (especially yourself), and to receive all that the Universe wants you to be open to. This is a time of unrest in our country. May we all be a listening ear, even when we think we 'know' and may we stand like a tree or a mountain, in the name of Love, when it comes to what is right.

Attitude of Gratitude: day 16

Today I am grateful for:

  1. That there's always something new to be found on my yoga mat. Today it was trying to see how much of my practice I could do with my eyes closed, noticing how my body feels as it moves, and noticing how it affects my balance.
  2. Delicious soup, cooked from scratch, and sooooo nourishing.
  3. The journey of teaching and how it has enlarged me on so many levels and in so many ways.

Attitude of Gratitude: day 15

Today has had moments of deep presence, and moments of agitation. Some of today flowed, and some of it felt like work. And always, there's a little voice in the back of my head telling me I could have done more... But I sit here with mantra music playing and candles lit (we had lost electricity for a little while) and I am grateful for:

  1. Electricity - it is so easy to take it for granted, and while it is not impossible to do without, it certainly requires a lot more effort.
  2. A life that asks that to do what I believe in, I must step outside of my comfort zone and surrender up everything I thought I knew - whether energy medicine or political activism, I am here and I am not allowing myself to hide anymore.
  3. The silence and space to be alone with myself. And the fact that I like it. Even when I'm afraid. Even in moments when it feels lonely or bittersweet.

Wild Sacred Journey: day 9

No - I haven't forgotten about my promise to write here daily. And while I certainly have not kept up with it in the way that I envisioned, life is not an all-or-nothing game. Some days you write and share and express, and some days you are quiet and you listen.

I was traveling for a wedding and spending time with my family and while there were so many beautiful things that were both wild and sacred about that trip, I just couldn't bring myself to write - in that moment, I needed to just be experiencing. And then I came home and this first week back has been challenging, to say the least. I have been exhausted mentally and off-balance physically from the irregular sleep and eating patterns that we get into when we leave home. And all of that has felt wild, and if I look closely, I can see glimmers of sacred. But again, I just couldn't bring myself to write about it.

Then last night, a release. Something shifted and I'm not even sure what, but I woke up this morning feeling back to a more 'normal' version of myself and with a renewed commitment to my routines and practices that serve. Funny, how we have to have discipline to stay wildly creating.

As I've been listening into what's been coming up for me in life, in relationships, and in my writing over the last couple of weeks I'm seeing a theme of fully embracing paradox. I have carried a story that to be responsible and trustworthy, we have to be consistent and rational. And there is, of course, some truth to that... but what about laziness and impulse and magic - all the things that just don't make sense? They need room, too. So instead of forcing myself to choose and then vilifying one and worshiping the other, or, hell, vilifying the fact that I have contradictions in the first place, I now choose acceptance.

I choose to accept my desire to connect and my need for solitude, my longing to express and he gift of listening, my discipline and my flowing creativity, my hard work and my laziness, my goals and my reality. No shame hanging over my head or guilt dragging me down - just peace and a beginning over, again and again. 

As Walt Whitman says in his Song Of Myself:

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)