Wild Sacred Journey: day 6

(This photo was found online. Not sure who to credit it with... but I am sure it is not mine)

(This photo was found online. Not sure who to credit it with... but I am sure it is not mine)

Yesterday, I told myself I didn't know what to say for day 6. It was a lie. And I knew it, even as I told myself that. It just took a little while for me to own exactly what it is I needed to share. Why? Because the more we get close to truth of who we are, the scarier it is to put it out there. We have these voices inside us that say: what if no one understands? Worse, what if they understand and don't like it or mock it?

There is something about unveiling the sacredness of who we are for the world to see that risks diminishing it. Risks letting it become profane. But isn't it also the beauty of this journey: uncovering our memories of things that are less tangible and then seeking to express them, here on Earth, in a denser form? The only form that truly allows for manifestation? Isn't that what this wild sacred journey is about?

So what is it that feels so scary and vulnerable for me to share?

My journey within the past year has been one of rediscovering and healing my connection to the Divine Feminine. And not a moment too soon. Whatever our differing views on how to solve the world's crises, I think it's safe to say that we can all agree we are in a crisis. And in fear, we may seek to blame others outside of ourselves or things outside of our perceived control. But the more I walk my path, the more it becomes clear to me that we have disconnected from the femininity of our source and we are all paying the price. This Divine Feminine exists in everything. She exists in all creatures, in rocks, in trees, in water, in the sky. She exists in children, in men, in women, and in those who do not identify as either/or. But we live in a world that prizes boundaries, logic, numbers, power, linear progress, and concrete reality over water, flow, creativity, vulnerability, and the magic of the inexplicable. And so, while we also need these more 'masculine' traits to keep us balanced, we need to shed our shame and fear of weakness and starting speaking about our experiences that sometimes defy words, too.

This process for me has taken on many forms, but one of them has been a re-commitment to fostering creativity in my life. And it has been a journey of learning to challenge the voices in my head that say: who are you to create? You're not an artist! Your work isn't any good! You don't have the genius for it... But creativity is the realm of our Divine Feminine. It is what she is here for: to nurture and birth into Being all possibilities and inspirations that long to be made manifest. Maybe it's a painting, or a dance, or a piece of music. Maybe it's a new scientific idea, or a new business. Maybe it's a new flavor of ice cream or a new tool that will revolutionize gardening. Maybe it's making a stunningly silly video that goes viral on Youtube, making people laugh and also leaving them wondering who thought that was a good idea?! Human ingenuity is unbelievably beautiful, when offered from the heart. And it doesn't need to be important. It doesn't even need to be seen or shared. It just needs to be created.

I am currently doing a 30-day creative writing program. And what I wrote yesterday is very different from anything I've written before. It took three tries that were clunky and wordy before I finally allowed this one to flow out. And I love it. And I'm scared of it. And I had no intention of sharing it. So, in honor of this wild and sacred journey, in honor of vulnerability and freedom of expression, in honor of the possibility that my walk might inspire someone else, and in honor of our Divine Feminine... here it is:

On nights when the moon is full, I have sex with moon snakes.
All day, I feel my wild wolf belly starting to open sleepy eyes and stretch inside me
Then, finally, the moment when I turn my lights off and hear the faintest echo of a howl
    - part anticipation, part celebration
bouncing around in my ribs.
Crawling across my bed, I peak through the gauzy curtain to invite my moon lover in
Her beauty never ceases to take my breath away
The wild wolf in my belly bares its teeth in a smile.
Her light the white blue of an old lady’s hair
drifts through my window
and lands beside me in bed
where the purity of it throbs in my belly and sheds some of my own, darker density
so that my bare flesh takes on her glow as my twin moons rise,
driven upward by a back arched to meet her
and a willingness to love, heart forward.
Beside me, her light condenses into a serpentine form,
curling around the mountains and valleys of the sheets
like a river that flows away from the sea
reversing course
her coolness slipping inside
being drawn back into the mossy grotto
and then back to the womb of the Earth
where she pools, now liquid in form
coiled and ready to slide all the way up my spine
to be sighed out in pleasure
 - a winged offering, soaring back towards the moon in her night sky
becoming a new star.

Wild Sacred Journey: day 5

We all have one. At least, I hope you do. A picture of you, as a kid, being completely and fully and unabashedly yourself.

This is that picture for me. Yes, I had a mullet and I owned it. Yes, I loved stickers enough to think it was a great idea to put them all over my face. Yes, I LOVED that costume and would only take it off when mom forced me to wash it, at which point I would wait until it was clean and (barely) dry and then put it right back on. And I loved to dance around the house whether music was playing or not.

And then life happened. And there was a long period of time where I pretended I didn't like pink and sparkles and sequins. Where I cared a little more what my hair looked like. Where I stopped dancing for the pure joy of movement.

But she's still inside me. And although I'm an adult now and it's not always appropriate for me to bust her out (nor do I always feel like it), some days you need to let go and give in to that little kid.

This afternoon, I came home from yoga, ate some food, watched a little Netflix and then asked myself what I needed most to feel good in this moment. The answer was my very own dance party. So I cranked my favorite dance tunes and started that dancing/singing party in the shower. When I couldn't justify wasting anymore water, I took that party to my room where I danced around in fancy dresses and heels. Partly because why not and party because I was figuring out what I was wearing to a wedding I'm going to next weekend...

But the point is this. I had an awesome afternoon and when we need to shift some energy in our lives, it doesn't always have to be serious. It doesn't always have to be yoga and meditation and walks or 'exercise.' Sometimes being unbelievably goofy and child-like is just what we need. The sacred purity of innocence is found in our child-like wonder and wild. We just have to be willing to let it all out, especially if no one is watching. No performance - just a joyful expression of what is true and beautiful about being alive.

Wild Sacred Journey: day 4

Some days are filled with precious treats that may not look like much to another person. I am coming to learn that it all depends on your perspective. Are you looking for magic, miracles, and treasure? Are you seeing what's in front of you with wondrous and gratitude-filled eyes?

This morning, I was surprised by a beautiful English rose, still closed and smelling delicately. Gifted to me from a garden and a heart. It is so fragile and delicate that just looking at it brought me back to all that is worth loving and caring for in this world. Throughout today, it has slowly opened, becoming more fragrant and yet even more vulnerable... more fragile. And that makes it precious and noteworthy, all at the same time.

Then, later this afternoon, I was gifted a piece of the first harvest of ginger - also a gift from the garden, watered and fertilized with love, given from the heart. There are few things more precious and miraculous than fresh ginger. If you've never had a chance to have some, you're missing out! Ginger takes a long time to grow. You plant it in soil, deep down, and then wait until you give up all hope it will grow... and only then will you start to see shoots. Then it takes more time and more care. But when you harvest it, it is tender - no need to peel, no stringy quality. Just crunchy, sharp flavored, with beautiful colors of yellow, pink, and green, covered in a glorious coat of dirt.

Today is one of those days - filled with small gifts that ripple out much larger than they are because of the love, care, and tenderness they represent. And I see them because I choose to look for wonder and miracles, with gratitude.

Welcome to your Wild Sacred Journey (day 1)

As we can all agree, life is a journey and it takes us places that were unexpected. When I started Fertile Ground Yoga about three years ago, I used a free website because I had no overhead and wasn't even sure this was all going to work. I was coming out of an 8-month period where I had to move every two months. I was only teaching a few classes. I doubted myself and my ability to do this.... whatever this was. 2013 was ending and 2014 was beginning and I took a leap of faith.

The journey of these last few years has brought me to a place I would never have imagined. I have now been supporting myself solely teaching yoga for a little over a year. I am teaching about 10 classes per week (give or take a few). I have led workshops, daylong retreats, and even several weekend-long retreats. I set my schedule. I maintain my website. I come up with material and try and network... when I remember to. It has been challenging and rewarding and so many other things. Every part of running this business has brought up my limiting beliefs. And I have faced some deep-seated fears about finances and being good enough. And I have grown: in confidence, in scope, in experience.

Last Fall, I answered a call from deep within that I hadn't even known I had and began a two-year Integrative Energy Medicine Training. As I began, a little voice inside me knew that this program and saying 'yes' to this new path on my journey would cause me to outgrow the Fertile Ground of my original business. I was right. It has taken a year of being present to the ever-increasing clarity of who I am and what message I am walking on this Earth, but at this time but I am finally ready to announce my new business name: Wild Sacred Journey.

In all of this change, I am still me. In fact, I am more me than I have been in a while. And my hope for this journey is that is brings me back, again and again, to being more myself. I have reached deeper places of knowing the limitless, sacred spirit that resides in this body, And I have reached deeper levels of compassion for the limited-but-still-wondrous human form that I have for walking this journey. And I have a stronger connection to the wild heart that holds space for the intersection of these two truths. Yoga is a journey of going deeper and deeper into ourselves to find the hidden treasures of this life, and what's the secret to growth and cultivation and fertile soil, but this wild, wondrous, sacred journey.

I hope you will continue to join me in practices, meditations, retreats, and other offerings. Information about me can now be found at

For the month of October, I am celebrating this change by posting one blog a day of something I saw or heard or experienced that reminds me I am on a wild sacred journey. Join me?