happy Earth Day

Photo by Melissa Groves

A reminder that we are not on the Earth, but of it. There is a web of mutuality woven through all things.

It does not serve us to think of climate problems as being outside of us, separate from our daily preoccupations.

It does not serve anyone for those of us with privilege to think of racism and inequity as problems separate from our daily preoccupations.

We cannot think or science our way to a false and ‘easy’ safety, free from responsibility, empathy, and action.

Breathe in, breathe out. Touch the Earth, touch the sky. Bring a hand to your heart. Your home is right here. Your family all around.

Happy Earth Day. 💚

going hard for the things that feel easy

In second grade, I received an ‘N’ (the lowest grade- ‘Needs Improvement’) on my report card in the category of ‘self-control’... basically, I was too chatty, too exuberant, too goofy.

By high school, I had learned how to play the game, got straight A’s on all advanced courses... and was the walking (burnt out) dead by the end of it.

Somewhere between applying for colleges and deferring for a year (to bum around New Zealand) I made myself a promise:

*that I would never work that hard, ever again*

And, because I’m someone who takes integrity very seriously, I kept that promise.

In the last couple of years, I reached burn out again, this time financially. You see, it’s hard to keep a promise of never working hard again when you run your own business.

But I had an epiphany last year and changed the promise:

*I will never again work that hard for someone else and on something that doesn’t light me up*

It changed everything.

I was just having a conversation with a client this morning about going after our purpose and passion and what might be possible for the whole world if we were all encouraged to work hard in pursuit of our gifts. And then this post from @talkingshrimpnyc popped up.

Where in your life can you go hard for the things that feel easy? And where might it serve you to back off on the things that drain you of your own precious life force?

And how can we each participate in changing systems and society so that your immediate response to the first two questions isn’t something defeated and along the lines of: “that sounds nice but I have to make money/survive somehow”?

the difference between challenge and struggle

Photo by Melissa Groves

One of the best things my yoga practice taught me was that there is a difference between challenge and struggle.

We will always face challenges. And while they are uncomfortable, they help us grow.

(This asana, Astavakrasana, for example, was one of the first arm balances I was ever able to do and shocked me because I truly believed the story that I couldn’t do arm balances. Then, after that first time, I went through a period where I couldn’t do it again. I had to learn to work for it and build better strength and technique so I could do it consistently)

Struggle, however, is meaning we give to things. Struggle is an approach, a mindset.

This is not to bypass that sometimes things are really f*cking hard.

But I’ve noticed that when I’m struggling, there’s usually chaos inside me. I’m often feeling conflicted and pulled in too many directions.

One of the best things to do in those moments is zoom out a little and put the chaos in context so it doesn’t feel so all-encompassing.

Ground yourself with something neutral that is outside your sense of struggle. Maybe it’s something in your environment, maybe it’s your breath. Practice pausing and questioning your thoughts- are they coming from love or from fear? If fear- are they true (they are always valid, but are they the absolute 100% truth... or are there other, equally valid perspectives and reframes)?

Give yourself a little space around the story. If you aren’t the story, there’s always the possibility that you can write a new one.

You are powerful enough to face challenges. Don’t let the inner chaos of struggle rob you of that. Sometimes it’s not about ‘finding peace and having an easy life’, sometimes it’s about becoming peace and flowing with life.

matching your insides with your outsides

Photo by Romello Williams

The universe responds to our energy, to our vibration, like a tuning fork. But this is not a one-way street- we, reciprocally, respond to our environment, too.

This means that when we want to feel effective in life, to feel resilient and able to adapt and respond, to be in flow- it helps to get really clear on both how things around us affect us and what we in turn are bringing to the world.

Sometimes that means rearranging some furniture or a room. Sometimes it means setting new boundaries in relationships. Sometimes we have to change our morning or evening routines to set us up for better days and better sleep.

Sometimes it means recognizing that if we keep encountering similar situations again and again, we are a part of that. The world is not happening to us but happening for us, as uncomfortable as that may sometimes be.

Is there a specific goal or intention you have right now in your life? And now get really honest: are your actions and your environment truly aligned with that goal? Or are you saying one thing and acting another way? If so, no shame. It happens. But here’s an invitation for you: what small shift(s) would get you a little closer to alignment? What can you do to match your insides with your wants?

Take your power back. Write your story. Become the steward of your life, your dreams, your energy.

on Balance

We all seem to be looking for it… but do we even know what it is?

The word ‘balance’ seems to be everywhere - we talk about it in spiritual communities, we talk about it in terms of our professional and personal spheres, we talk about it in terms of eating, exercising, friends, etc. And often times it seems to point to some ephemeral point of arrival. A moment of equalibirum that we seek, and if we’re lucky enough to find it, we should then hold on and do whatever it takes to not let it slip away.

Even just writing that I feel it in my body: the judgement of something being ‘wrong’ if it’s not balanced. The feelings of failure that I can’t ever seem to find it. The seeking and grasping and trying to freeze the world around one moment in time. I doesn’t feel very good.

What I am coming to learn more deeply is that balance is not an arrival, but rather a way of being. And it means we have access to all our resources, tools, and states at any given moment. It’s being embodied enough and practiced enough in deep listening to be able to respond in present time with what is appropriate. Sometimes it may be anger, sometimes sadness, sometimes rest, sometimes action, sometimes desire, sometimes gratitude…and all the millions of other potential responses we have in our service.

And in each season of our lives, our needs will change. Our priorities will shift and settle out into different patterns. Our ideas of who we are and where we want to be may become too small and we may need to shed them and be willing to grow in another direction.

So ‘balance’ then is not a small tight rope we walk but rather an inclusive and radical accepting of ourselves and our wholeness so that we can surf the currents of life with feet down, head up, and heart open.